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santo1253

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santo1253

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  • Number of visits : 198
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santo1253's page activity

Visits<b>SirTalkaton</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 7:50pm

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santo1253's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19327) - you deserved it (5114)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36471) - you deserved it (3011)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML

#19407529
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26788) - you deserved it (6432)

On 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by KatieB (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

#19405525
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33102) - you deserved it (11398)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:53am - intimacy - by gordogs 25 - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out that all the things I've lent to my best friend over the last few years that have never been returned were actually pawned off so she could pay her cable bill. FML

#19395452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22556) - you deserved it (2827)

On 04/02/2012 at 2:44pm - money - by Kelly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML

#19372979
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21012) - you deserved it (1823)

On 03/29/2012 at 10:16pm - misc - by rusrs - United Kingdom

Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year old son does. FML

#19370101
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32452) - you deserved it (3498)

On 03/29/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by no one - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML

#19369519
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19818) - you deserved it (1802)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:42am - work - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

#19366084
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20979) - you deserved it (1553)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by deadgrass (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML

#19362512
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10393) - you deserved it (17696)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:00am - health - by hikari_chan_xo - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received a coupon for a special offer including flights and accommodation for the honeymoon destination that my fiancé and I are keen on. Yesterday, I paid the full price for the flight tickets and hotel deposit for the honeymoon. FML

#19362332
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21285) - you deserved it (2168)

On 03/28/2012 at 6:47am - money - by honeymooner (man) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28956) - you deserved it (23216)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (3210)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)



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