santemilo

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Offline (the 03/17/2016 at 3:28pm)

santemilo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 167
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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santemilo's page activity

Visits<b>eggfactory</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 2:58pm<b>edward80</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 9:59am<b>Zorori</b> - the 11/27/2012 at 2:58pm

santemilo's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of santemilo's badges

santemilo's favorite FMLs

Today, I said "I love you" to my girlfriend for the first time. She responded with, "I'm just gonna pretend I never heard that." FML

by Unreciprocated / 02/25/2016 at 1:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while working as a hostess, one of my tattoos on my leg was showing. It's not uncommon for guests to comment on tattoos as we're high end and I'm one of two staff members with visible tattoos. What is uncommon is an elderly lady hiking up my skirt for a better view. I flashed everyone. FML

by Devlynfly / 02/24/2016 at 11:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

by leahrb / 02/24/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking a bus full of loud, rambunctious elementary children to school, the bus slowly slid off the road into a ditch. After waiting 30 minutes that felt like hours, I saw the tow truck arriving from the opposite direction also slide slowly off the roadway into the opposite ditch. FML

by womanoski / 02/20/2016 at 12:56pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2016 at 11:57am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I found out that people are notified when you list them on Twitter. I've been listing people as "Interesting" and "Stupid". FML

by Shiet / 02/09/2016 at 11:08pm / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

by hannieannie / 02/09/2016 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML

by OhDearGodGrandad / 02/07/2016 at 12:59pm / United Kingdom (Redbridge) / Intimacy

Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed dog found in a lake. It was my job to tear open the bag and try to identify the breed and color. It would've been easier if the body wasn't crawling with maggots. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 10:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 4:55am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

by sandra / 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, when I went to see my therapist, she handed me a tube of tooth paste and said, "Please use it". FML

by gingerlover01 / 01/30/2016 at 10:57am / United States / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML

by Why / 01/29/2016 at 5:53pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I got call from the manager for a company I applied for. Turns out, he mixed up my friend's phone number with mine, since we applied on the same day, so the manager accidentally hired her instead of me. He said the position is still mine if I want it, but they will have to let her go. FML

by speaknoevil1 / 01/29/2016 at 1:03am / United States (Florida) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after weeks of debating with myself, I finally got the courage to ask out my best friend of 9 years. She turned me down, saying that dating me would be like adopting a puppy, and she doesn't want that kind of responsibility. FML

by adoptablepuppy / 01/28/2016 at 8:17pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.