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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19126) - you deserved it (8243)
On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31592) - you deserved it (7551)
On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because he has a pimple fetish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32167) - you deserved it (3461)
On 07/30/2011 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (3236)
On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28948) - you deserved it (4861)
On 07/29/2011 at 7:36pm - kids - by Username - United States
Today, my sister announced that she had gotten engaged. I was happy for her until I found out she's marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied me all through high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30931) - you deserved it (1914)
On 07/29/2011 at 5:35pm - misc - by Username - Netherlands (Flevoland)
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25168) - you deserved it (4314)
On 07/29/2011 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Elizabeth (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24244) - you deserved it (4384)
On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)
Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25067) - you deserved it (4417)
On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States
Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35839) - you deserved it (2487)
On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27628) - you deserved it (11938)
On 07/29/2011 at 2:19am - love - by failure - United States (California)
Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26079) - you deserved it (4775)
On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounds a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19695) - you deserved it (4619)
On 07/28/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by Branski - United States
Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (6352)
On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)
Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (3437)
On 07/28/2011 at 6:51am - work - by Rick - United States (Indiana)
Friday 24 May 2013
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