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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36241) - you deserved it (4579)
On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42221) - you deserved it (3899)
On 06/16/2013 at 7:37am - intimacy - by idontwanttoknow - United States
Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43376) - you deserved it (5350)
On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I woke up early to travel to the office headquarters 3.5 hours away for important meetings. After waking up at 5.30am, picking up all my colleagues and driving 40 min out of town, I realised I was wearing my woolen house slippers. They were the only pair of shoes I'd brought on the trip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35011) - you deserved it (7556)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:04am - work - by vanity113 - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35324) - you deserved it (4158)
On 06/07/2013 at 12:33am - animals - by Damn Cat - United States (Iowa)
Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49810) - you deserved it (5172)
On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39882) - you deserved it (3574)
On 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by no booze, no boyfriend (woman) - United States
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27316) - you deserved it (58276)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)
Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57056) - you deserved it (4206)
On 06/03/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps randomly spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38614) - you deserved it (6233)
On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49918) - you deserved it (13573)
On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33509) - you deserved it (3656)
On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States
Today, my 6-year-old son spotted a bumper sticker that said, "Get any closer and I'll fart." He thought this was so hilarious that he had to repeat it to everyone he met. Including my doctor, my grandma, and my boss at "bring your kid to work day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (4015)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Mary (woman) - United States
Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36245) - you deserved it (8368)
On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34340) - you deserved it (3398)
On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Monday 17 June 2013
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