Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About sandra143 : firstname.lastname@example.org
If you guys have twitter, follow me at www.twitter.com/sandrapopadic
I'm a stubborn and sarcastic perfectionist. I'm a brunette, although that's a fact commonly disputed among my friends due to my endless blonde moments. I will either be a famous songwriter or a rich corporate lawyer by the time I'm 35. I am a professional shower singer. I love tennis and soccer. I write lyrics, compose music, and play the violin, piano, and guitar. I'm from the [former] Yugoslavia. I speak, read, and write six languages fluently. I love the arts, history, and law. I love learning about new cultures, religions, and traditions.
Last two things : 1) I'm too intricate to summarize, and 2) if I continue this attempt to disprove 1), I will end up with half a novels worth containing the most random ramblings ever. Just message if you wanna get to know me or whatevs. My e-mails up there too.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML
Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML
Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML
Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML
Today, I got a paper back that was given a zero for suspected plagiarism. Everything I wrote was my own thought and analysis. My instructor basically thinks my paper is smarter than I am. He won't listen, even when I explain my thought processes throughout the piece. FML
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
Today, a foreigner walked into my restaurant to pick up his pizzas. The bill was $25 and he gave me $30 and a 100 dollar bill. I gave him his change from the 30 and I didn't understand so I gave him back the 100 dollars. He said "Well if you dont want it, okay." He was gonna tip me $100. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get a hole in my tooth filled. After the dentist had injected the anesthetic into my gums, she realized that none of the electrical equipment were working. She sent me home. My entire right side of my face is completely numb and swollen for no reason. FML
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014