i looooooove music
fav bands are: rise against, my chemical romance, 30 seconds to mars, breaking benjamin, um...the strokes, muse, john mayer, phoenix, the kooks...oh and kings of leon...and um...arctic monkeys :)
im also an insanity in a jar...incase u were wondering...
0.o
Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33028) - you totally deserved it (1240)
On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me. They then took this time to describe what they were going to do to each other when they got home. In full detail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31426) - you totally deserved it (11146)
On 07/26/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by Joel_mama (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, my dad somehow found some pictures of my boyfriend having sex with some girl and went on a rampage about how pissed he was that he was cheating on me. I had to explain to my parents that I was the girl in the pictures. FML
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On 07/26/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by omgwtfsam (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
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On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML
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On 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by misopower (woman) - China (Henan)
Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML
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On 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by rbates - United States (Florida)
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
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On 07/25/2009 at 1:14pm - money - by Pottymouth (man) - United States
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
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On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)
Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43975) - you totally deserved it (2409)
On 07/25/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was talking to my mom lamenting the fact that none of my few relationships seem to last longer than 2 months. She asked why and I said, "because I'm paranoid, obsessive compulsive, judgmental, defensive, and stubborn." Instead of encouraging me, she said, "Well, at least you're honest." FML
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On 07/25/2009 at 7:13am - love - by lonely (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
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On 07/24/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go in for work." Apparently, they were upset because they BOTH got laid off from their jobs today. FML
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On 07/22/2009 at 6:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML
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On 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by sadinseattle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML
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On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML
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On 07/22/2009 at 7:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)
