About sanchitgoyal : I use fml to find some laughter in My Life. Message Me if you would like to talk :)
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sanchitgoyal's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
by Bernadette / 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm / Miscellaneous
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2012 at 10:52am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
by bronieswillrule5eva / 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Work
Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML
by Silent / 06/01/2012 at 10:24am / Singapore / Love
by Discouraged / 05/31/2012 at 8:43am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 2:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Kids
by anonymous / 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm / United States (Texas) / Geek
by no one / 03/29/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML
by Teh_dw33bin4tor / 03/15/2012 at 8:12am / Australia / Love
Today, while DJing at a jumpin' wedding reception, my speaker system conked out. I hadn't brought any backup equipment, and 500 guests had the unfortunate luxury of dancing to the sounds of a portable CD player someone brought in from their car. FML
by Joey / 03/11/2012 at 1:51am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by goldfish / 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by bluesox4 / 02/06/2012 at 12:50am / United States (Utah) / Love
- Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard… Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided… Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making…