samusfox

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samusfox

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 December 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18480
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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samusfox's page activity

Visits<b>lovingfml</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 9:54am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 11:11am<b>gtdoll</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 12:26pm<b>MyHandIsNumb</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 6:47pm<b>DarkMirror</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 5:51pm<b>PsycoJester</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 10:39pm<b>dynamite_o</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 10:20pm<b>ibabyd0llaz</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 9:05pm<b>crazy_chickxoxo</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 7:40pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 6:37pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 6:03pm<b>kendal</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 5:04pm<b>danid1013</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 4:11pm<b>ThisGuy13</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 3:19pm<b>BlaisOf_Fire91</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 2:07am<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/22/2009 at 11:18pm

samusfox's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

samusfox's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, a friend offered to have sex with me, since I'm a 19 year old virgin who's only been kissed. He then added on that I would have to give him my Wii in return. FML

by VelocityMary / 07/30/2009 at 11:52am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML

by Toaster / 07/30/2009 at 11:11am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

by verysadasian / 07/30/2009 at 10:21am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

by Ella / 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

by MitchFail / 07/23/2009 at 2:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML

by grounded4life / 07/22/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML

Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML

by newsgirl / 07/16/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

by shway / 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids