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samoht1997

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samoht1997

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1021
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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samoht1997's page activity

Visits<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 11:01am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 9:23am<b>BIGBOY4rmAHM</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:05am

samoht1997's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of samoht1997's badges

samoht1997's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (99342)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (281421) - you deserved it (17805)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

#1418421
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12596) - you deserved it (105851)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML

#1372393
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57718) - you deserved it (11389)

On 04/26/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by theatreismylife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML

#1336947
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15317) - you deserved it (51329)

On 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML

#1336947
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15317) - you deserved it (51329)

On 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (97360)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39636) - you deserved it (326858)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13519) - you deserved it (71370)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML

#1021876
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10769) - you deserved it (89376)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by TheBRADLeyB (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

#1018681
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15535) - you deserved it (128208)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (129306) - you deserved it (7578)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51755) - you deserved it (18262)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy that included dinner, pool and pretty good conversation. Around Midnight he yawned and said the beer was making him sleepy, so he took me home. I wasn't tired so I changed and went out with some friends... and saw him on the dance floor. FML

#948690
99 comments

Today, I went to a professional baseball game. In the 5th inning, our row was chosen for a random giveaway where everyone sitting in the row recieved free roundtrip airline tickets to New York City. While this was going on, I was up, getting a pretzel. FML



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