sammyprosnit

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sammyprosnit

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 December 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 956
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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sammyprosnit's page activity

Visits<b>lolszilla</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 1:33am<b>krazy789</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:18pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 12:04pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 1:34am<b>rhiley</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 5:49am<b>Words123</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 5:02pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:28pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 2:42am<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 3:11pm<b>ncbb5</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 8:56am<b>CarlCarlCarl</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 5:58pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 7:36pm<b>jinxes144</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 5:40am<b>Arieslink</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 11:49pm<b>alfalfalaffa</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 7:10pm<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 6:54pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:14am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 6:25pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 6:04pm<b>jinxes144</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:40am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:25am

sammyprosnit's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of sammyprosnit's badges

sammyprosnit's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

by Username / 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm / Kids

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 3:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, some friends and I went to Cosmic Bowling where they have a blacklight. Everyone's teeth were glowing. Mine weren't. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2009 at 6:12am / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML

by UhOhhhh / 09/08/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

by paddy / 07/14/2009 at 8:23am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML

by bluecollar / 02/26/2009 at 3:07am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I had to tell my super-conservative parents that I had just gone to visit the boyfriend I'm not supposed to have so that I could tell him I am pregnant. FML

by Noname / 02/23/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML

by pop / 12/28/2008 at 8:41pm / Love