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Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML
by Anonymous / 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Kids
by verysadasian / 07/30/2009 at 10:21am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML
by Mortified / 07/22/2009 at 5:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML
by thesitter / 05/10/2009 at 9:18am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
by shizzy09 / 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, was my first serious photoshoot as a male model for a high-end clothing line. It was a nude photoshoot, with kind of an Adam and Eve theme. After the first couple of pictures with the extremly sexy female model, I got a boner. There were still 100 shots left to go. FML
by Bden / 03/21/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy