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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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sammi24242

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sammi24242
  • Town/Country : New York, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 May 1997 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 112
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sammi24242 : party is here;)

sammi24242's FML badges

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sammi24242's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

#17489385 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (8198) - you deserved it (2899)

On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (11997) - you deserved it (1054)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, I spent $500 buying my lost cat back from a jerk who thought it was his. I get home and my mom tells me that she'd sold it to the same guy for $10 because she thought the cat was ruining my love life. FML

#17467108 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (26590) - you deserved it (4051)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:16am - money - by Username - United States

Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML

#17458169 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (17632) - you deserved it (3272)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:22am - animals - by Ellencrazee (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (31527) - you deserved it (3035)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today I walked outside of my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180 (261)

I agree, your life sucks (10427) - you deserved it (1344)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML

#17426296 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (24969) - you deserved it (2064)

On 08/10/2011 at 3:22am - misc - by TheKunitzShow14 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, our AC broke. It's 98 degrees inside the house. My parents will be staying at a 5 star resort until the repairman can come to fix the unit in 6 days. They made me stay home to make sure the plants survive. FML

#17425699 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (24567) - you deserved it (1805)

On 08/10/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536 (455)

I agree, your life sucks (32630) - you deserved it (4369)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

#17384157 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (2350)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (43037) - you deserved it (1750)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (35525) - you deserved it (2037)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

#17359587 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (31342) - you deserved it (2625)

On 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm - animals - by roze198765 - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826 (340)

I agree, your life sucks (30341) - you deserved it (7316)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to a talent show. On the way there, my car broke down, I lost my keys and managed to slam my hand in a window. I got there and waited in the theater for an hour before a janitor came by and said, "Show is tomorrow, lady." FML

#17278352 (28)

I agree, your life sucks (20412) - you deserved it (6533)

On 07/27/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by lizzie - United States (North Carolina)



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