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samliveslifw

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samliveslifw

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  • Number of visits : 147
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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samliveslifw's favorite FMLs

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27102) - you deserved it (12841)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25106) - you deserved it (25476)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm so broke that I hand-washed my socks with a bar of soap that I stole from work. FML

#20058884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25198) - you deserved it (2614)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:27pm - money - by Lauraborealous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10488) - you deserved it (40616)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML

#19237178
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11583) - you deserved it (19238)

On 03/08/2012 at 12:47am - work - by Honey Badger (woman) - United States

Today, whilst nibbling on my husband's ear, I swallowed a lump of his earwax. FML

#14986533
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37909) - you deserved it (21963)

On 02/15/2011 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Emily Salt -

Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML

#10962269
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35288) - you deserved it (14076)

On 06/04/2010 at 5:38am - love - by badsinger (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I returned home to my girlfriend after being away for 6 weeks of work. I decided to take a shower and change before having a nice dinner with her. Without looking I grabbed a random pair of jeans from my closet to put on. They were Levis. I don't own or wear any Levis. FML

#8048706
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33359) - you deserved it (2516)

On 02/09/2010 at 10:43am - love - by safariboo - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML

#6823422
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22112) - you deserved it (2788)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by Tights2Tight - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

#6350445
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31012) - you deserved it (2040)

On 11/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Bribri (man) - United States (California)

Today, after spending about 5 years to go back to school, get my life together and get a real job, I now make about $100 less a month. I used to work as a dishwasher. FML

#6325023
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26590) - you deserved it (2516)

On 11/16/2009 at 10:14am - work - by tsu3 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my family gathered to pray. It was my brother's turn to pray and he ended with this, "...and help Chev that he does not become the disappointment everyone expects him to be. Amen." I looked on in shock as my entire family nodded and said "Amen" in agreement. Hi, I'm Chev. FML

#5293926
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39602) - you deserved it (4626)

On 09/16/2009 at 3:58pm - misc - by jaskyriddims (man) - Dominica (Saint George)

Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML

#4632889
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8518) - you deserved it (64678)

On 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by Laundrylady (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (355969) - you deserved it (17940)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (476255) - you deserved it (29199)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)



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