samiams00

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samiams00

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10816
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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samiams00's page activity

Visits<b>atypicalfuck</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 7:42am<b>idefka</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:42pm<b>Noah197099</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:02pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:55pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:23am<b>Tchernov9</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 2:10am<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 5:55pm<b>boatiebanter</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 7:11pm<b>censorshipoff</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 4:47pm<b>Im_not_here</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 3:35pm<b>morenap</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 9:43am<b>sozo75</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 7:38am<b>Thoams</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 11:50pm<b>raylab810</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 5:16pm<b>nautical</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 5:04pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 4:59pm<b>fYOURlife1989</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 3:14pm<b>AntiChrist7</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 3:36pm

Fucked!<b>atypicalfuck</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 12:42pm<b>idefka</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 1:43am

samiams00's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

samiams00's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

by badtimingdude / 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm / Mauritius / Love

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

by Ahhwtf / 08/18/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:06am / Kazakhstan (Almaty) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm immune to laughing gas and partially immune to novocaine while I was getting two teeth pulled. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 8:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

by malebonding / 08/17/2009 at 9:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML

by veevee / 08/17/2009 at 4:31am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 4:21am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML

by TrophyGirlfriend / 08/17/2009 at 1:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend of 4 years because I didn't know the exact amount of days that we'd been together. FML

by fmexgirlfriend / 08/15/2009 at 1:30am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

by Ouch / 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

by anonymous / 08/12/2009 at 5:01pm / United States (Montana) / Love

Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2009 at 4:12pm / Denmark (Kobenhavn) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML

by signupsheetfail / 08/12/2009 at 3:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity I sent him a song I wrote for him about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him claiming he had written it. They are back together. FML

by sadsongstress / 08/12/2009 at 7:18am / Belgium (Brabant) / Love