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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56788) - you deserved it (2466)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49863) - you deserved it (4178)
On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15621) - you deserved it (56250)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34667) - you deserved it (7335)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54197) - you deserved it (2376)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)
Today, I found out that I'm immune to laughing gas and partially immune to novocaine while I was getting two teeth pulled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43461) - you deserved it (1915)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:14pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52813) - you deserved it (9988)
On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6074) - you deserved it (36537)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by veevee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42257) - you deserved it (3601)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41120) - you deserved it (1987)
On 08/17/2009 at 1:43am - love - by TrophyGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend of 4 years because I didn't know the exact amount of days that we'd been together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50664) - you deserved it (5026)
On 08/15/2009 at 1:30am - love - by fmexgirlfriend (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49225) - you deserved it (3594)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45901) - you deserved it (15272)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50652) - you deserved it (2130)
On 08/12/2009 at 5:01pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37217) - you deserved it (2188)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Kobenhavn)
Monday 20 May 2013
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