samiams00

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samiams00

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10812
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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samiams00's page activity

Visits<b>atypicalfuck</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 7:42am<b>idefka</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:42pm<b>Noah197099</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:02pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:55pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:23am<b>Tchernov9</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 2:10am<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 5:55pm<b>boatiebanter</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 7:11pm<b>censorshipoff</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 4:47pm<b>Im_not_here</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 3:35pm<b>morenap</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 9:43am<b>sozo75</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 7:38am<b>Thoams</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 11:50pm<b>raylab810</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 5:16pm<b>nautical</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 5:04pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 4:59pm<b>fYOURlife1989</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 3:14pm<b>AntiChrist7</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 3:36pm

Fucked!<b>atypicalfuck</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 12:42pm<b>idefka</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 1:43am

samiams00's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

samiams00's favorite FMLs

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

by Sad / 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Money

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

by mylifesucks / 04/18/2009 at 3:20am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Love

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

by skmusic / 04/09/2009 at 1:04am / Canada (Manitoba) / Love

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I got laid off from work. I was being escorted to the elevator when another coworker stepped inside. He said, "How goes it?". I said, "It goes". Then he said, "At least we have a job". FML

by Dude / 04/02/2009 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy