Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

samasara

Search for a member

samasara

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 648
  • Number of comments : 157
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About samasara : Well. My name is Sami. I'm pretty boring and awkward, but you could message me if you want.

samasara's page activity

Visits<b>b_d_hill</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:19pm<b>TacoApple99</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 7:04am<b>Project71</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:33pm<b>marleybree</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:27pm<b>itsrainingcake</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:59pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 8:47am<b>Narttu</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 1:06pm<b>emirie</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 4:29pm<b>uks</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 10:20am<b>emilycardona7</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 9:01am<b>AngelXsky</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 6:43am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 11:14am<b>karannashua</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 11:30pm<b>pimp_named_mitch</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 1:07am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 8:15pm<b>A7X_all_the_way</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 2:32am<b>LittleJess23</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 7:26am<b>meowwrongnotacat</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 5:55pm

samasara's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of samasara's badges

samasara's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (2346)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

#20148817
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23048) - you deserved it (2355)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML

#20147982
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26675) - you deserved it (8550)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

#20145644
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23524) - you deserved it (1720)

On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

#20145433
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37201) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20275) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

#20136629
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19004) - you deserved it (3801)

On 10/28/2012 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML

#20132044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8392) - you deserved it (28709)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm - money - by onlyme (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

#20131351
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16919) - you deserved it (45451)

On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

#20129237
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27977) - you deserved it (1271)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29668) - you deserved it (4515)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I showed my friends the picture I drew picturing the four of us in a 'zombie apocalypse' setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend, and I'm creeping them out. FML

#20128150
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23987) - you deserved it (7497)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML

#20118123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (3193)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by anon - United States (Virginia)

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

#20116490
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18652) - you deserved it (7767)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: