samasara

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samasara

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1504
  • Number of comments : 157
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About samasara : Well. My name is Sami. I'm pretty boring and awkward, but you could message me if you want.

samasara's page activity

Visits<b>pengw1</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:06am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 12:47am<b>anthonydpalm</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 6:54pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 12:03pm<b>Chronic_Night</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 8:08pm<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 10:26am<b>ncbb5</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 10:13am<b>Ehpl</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:51am<b>appygirlify</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 12:33pm<b>izzie321</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 9:40am<b>grammarsnail</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:45pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:02am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:42am<b>jaymecarterr</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 12:33am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:52am<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 4:36am<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:47am<b>breathless33</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 10:36pm

Fucked!<b>pengw1</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 8:06am

samasara's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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samasara's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

by joe / 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

by public pooper / 04/24/2013 at 8:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 10:52pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

by Maggie / 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm / United States / Love

Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML

by supertango500 / 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm / United States / Money

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

by dangerZone / 02/27/2013 at 11:43am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

by club goer / 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

by embarassinggg / 02/06/2013 at 1:57pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy