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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Up and coming moderator
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30199) - you deserved it (2196)
On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35181) - you deserved it (4835)
On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38957) - you deserved it (5398)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41027) - you deserved it (2748)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36147) - you deserved it (3394)
On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78185) - you deserved it (4466)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33630) - you deserved it (3364)
On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57521) - you deserved it (3533)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62284) - you deserved it (4132)
On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49202) - you deserved it (4290)
On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45414) - you deserved it (4296)
On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49996) - you deserved it (2662)
On 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm - health - by Chia (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49919) - you deserved it (3811)
On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39927) - you deserved it (6535)
On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74425) - you deserved it (4347)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)
Monday 20 May 2013
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