sagerose94

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sagerose94

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 717
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sagerose94's page activity

Visits<b>quontag</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:56pm

sagerose94's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

sagerose94's favorite FMLs

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

by jitiizer / 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

by pussyface96 / 09/19/2012 at 5:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

by unaware / 09/19/2012 at 12:14am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 10:50am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

by gemma / 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

by liquidknight / 09/10/2012 at 8:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

by scumbag i guess / 09/07/2012 at 8:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML

by Embarrassed / 08/07/2012 at 3:48am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

by notanidiot / 06/20/2012 at 8:46am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

by lulu / 02/11/2012 at 5:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

by Dani / 01/12/2012 at 5:35am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

by funnymanjoe / 09/14/2011 at 7:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous