About sabrinamarie3 : No ones gonna look at my profile, why even describe me?
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43038) - you deserved it (3476)
On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)
Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56829) - you deserved it (4203)
On 06/03/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps randomly spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38604) - you deserved it (6227)
On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42918) - you deserved it (4379)
On 06/02/2013 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by i'm not psychic, mother fucker (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
I agree, your life sucks (59287) - you deserved it (3296)
On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (3676)
On 06/02/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by fucker43 - United States (Georgia)
Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45365) - you deserved it (5243)
On 06/02/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by sleepy momma - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39094) - you deserved it (2935)
On 06/01/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by WHOO HOO AIDS (woman) - Poland (Mazowieckie)
Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41881) - you deserved it (2392)
On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37803) - you deserved it (2457)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)
Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33876) - you deserved it (3280)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37032) - you deserved it (18075)
On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42108) - you deserved it (8028)
On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65218) - you deserved it (4173)
On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75086) - you deserved it (4314)
On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Monday 17 June 2013
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