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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22558) - you deserved it (2625)
On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28070) - you deserved it (4809)
On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91523) - you deserved it (9484)
On 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by soldierboy - United States
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16811) - you deserved it (15776)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20353) - you deserved it (1321)
On 03/05/2010 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15111) - you deserved it (4570)
On 02/23/2010 at 11:48am - intimacy - by jasmine - United States
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14069) - you deserved it (3956)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (5204)
On 01/09/2010 at 3:16am - misc - by Snowin2007 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28897) - you deserved it (7245)
On 11/29/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by ? - United States
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53559) - you deserved it (5831)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31617) - you deserved it (1984)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47197) - you deserved it (23947)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28584) - you deserved it (1450)
On 10/11/2009 at 6:54am - love - by noo (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing hysterically and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22141) - you deserved it (2209)
On 10/11/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by foxbrat - United States (Hawaii)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (2337)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Monday 20 May 2013
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