sAvaNah_23

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sAvaNah_23

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2230
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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sAvaNah_23's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:25pm<b>GodOfBeer</b> - the 06/02/2010 at 9:50am

sAvaNah_23's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sAvaNah_23's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2010 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

by soldierboy / 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

by anonymous / 03/09/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2010 at 8:11pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML

by jasmine / 02/23/2010 at 11:48am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

by syl / 02/11/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML

by Snowin2007 / 01/09/2010 at 3:16am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML

by ? / 11/29/2009 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

by IB6UB9 / 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm / United States / Love

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

by prickly / 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

by oxjessiiox / 10/11/2009 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML

by noo / 10/11/2009 at 6:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing hysterically and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

by foxbrat / 10/11/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation