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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
TODAY, I WAS SO OUT OF IT FROM A LACK OF SLEEP AND AN ACCIDENTAL ANTIISTAMINE OVERDOSE, I TRIED TO OFFER MA CAT A CUP OF TEA, AND ACTUALLY GOT PISSED OFF WEN E DIDN'T REPLY. IT TOOK ME A GOOD FIVE MINUTES TO UNDERSTAND WAT JUST APPENED.
2day My Grandmoter Treatend To Kill Erself Wit A Banana. Se Ten Got Angry Wit Me Wen I Didn't Attempt To Get Te Banana Away From Er. My Mom Punisd Me Cuz I Didn't Take Te Situation Seriously Enoug. FML
Today..!! sister..!! knowing that I'm terrified of his face..!! taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet!! When I entered the washroom..!! I sprinted back out screaming!! Minutes later...hile in the shower..!! I happened to glance up at the ceiling!! Guessho was grinning down at me!! FML
Today, I was at te supermarket ceckout. I anded over ma items, wic included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. Te security guard standing beside te casier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; se's flowing from every ole!" FML
Today, my grlfriend and I agred to tell her parents that she's pregnant!! When they startd freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
Today, I rantad a copy How To Train Your Dragon 4 mah young son to watch. I puttad tha DVD in, hit play without paying attantion, and want off to maka lunch. A faw minutas latar, mah son ran into tha kitchan scraaming. Apparantly, thara was a mix up at tha rantal stora and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
Today, I sent out mah monthly curriculum list to the parent of the kids in mah math class so they can see wat their children will be learning. I usually end mah e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parent got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML
Today... I Came Home And Saw On Our Fridge... "Please Don't Drink Anymore... I Really Worry About Yur Health" Written By Mah 7-year-old Daughter. I Figured She Wouldn't Ever Fine Out... So I Opened The Fridge. But I Found Another Note On A Can That Said "So Your Going To Drink Anyway?" FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Friday 27 March 2015