ryanpreiss

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Offline (the 07/12/2016 at 10:05pm)

ryanpreiss

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 765
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ryanpreiss's page activity

Visits<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 2:36pm<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 5:06pm<b>2simz</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 3:40am<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 4:09pm<b>Quendolin</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:46am<b>abhig</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:39am<b>hunter1019</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 8:36pm<b>am1717</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 10:19am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:24pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:27am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 3:56pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 12:30am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:06pm<b>Tavers</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:59am<b>xPaladin</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:41pm

ryanpreiss's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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ryanpreiss's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML

by PulledOver / 06/01/2009 at 1:10am / United States / Transportation

Today, I went onto my band's MySpace just to check if we had any new comments or anything like that and I noticed that I was listed as a past member. Nobody ever told me I was replaced. FML

by BassGuy / 05/18/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

by hedgehog5 / 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML

by aprilfooled / 04/02/2009 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML

by aprilfooled / 04/02/2009 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

by JohnMackSquirts / 03/19/2009 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

by SmoothTalker / 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

by tamponmayhem / 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love