Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ryanpreiss

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

ryanpreiss

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 April 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 440
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ryanpreiss's page activity

Visits<b>xPaladin</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:41pm<b>billboob</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 7:10am<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 7:33pm<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:10pm<b>callcopse</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:48am<b>RainEliseWolf</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:24pm<b>mandygrl25</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 7:04pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:34am<b>lew_eeez</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 8:20pm<b>rebelbelle</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 8:16pm<b>Olgrco</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 8:42am<b>nikmiester</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 6:43am<b>pussysmasher</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 10:48pm<b>kaylajohn8133</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 3:51pm<b>aaslt175</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 1:07pm<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:28pm<b>shellyluv</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:12pm

ryanpreiss's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of ryanpreiss's badges

ryanpreiss's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML

#2490084
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9139) - you deserved it (49534)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by PulledOver (woman) - United States

Today, I went onto my band's MySpace just to check if we had any new comments or anything like that and I noticed that I was listed as a past member. Nobody ever told me I was replaced. FML

#2048727
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56430) - you deserved it (4228)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by BassGuy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (377601) - you deserved it (19698)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (168986) - you deserved it (8504)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML

#760336
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19508) - you deserved it (72357)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by aprilfooled (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML

#760336
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19508) - you deserved it (72357)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by aprilfooled (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29490) - you deserved it (108000)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53335) - you deserved it (31965)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (275338) - you deserved it (50325)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

#251967
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (190864) - you deserved it (14112)

On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (500094) - you deserved it (48505)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1197815) - you deserved it (126910)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: