ryanpreiss

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Offline (the 07/12/2016 at 10:05pm)

ryanpreiss

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 766
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ryanpreiss's page activity

Visits<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 2:36pm<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 5:06pm<b>2simz</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 3:40am<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 4:09pm<b>Quendolin</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:46am<b>abhig</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:39am<b>hunter1019</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 8:36pm<b>am1717</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 10:19am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:24pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:27am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 3:56pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 12:30am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:06pm<b>Tavers</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:59am<b>xPaladin</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:41pm

ryanpreiss's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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ryanpreiss's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

by why me / 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm / Geek

Today, my mom got me a job working for the man she's cheating on my dad with. My dad doesn't know that she's cheating, and my mom doesn't know that I know. It's just awkward. FML

by awkward / 02/27/2011 at 7:39am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

by Animal / 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

by xxmollyxx / 12/16/2010 at 6:54am / Sweden / Animals

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

by Kelli / 08/28/2010 at 12:56am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

by verno02 / 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

by Username / 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm / Love

Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

by indiansbaseball4 / 01/14/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to go meet my new upstairs neighbor, only to find out nobody actually moved in. The noises that have been coming from up there were made by rats. Lots of them. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2010 at 12:52pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

by SnuggieOverload / 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML

by absentmindedmoron / 09/27/2009 at 11:59am / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML

by Phoellie / 08/28/2009 at 7:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Holidays

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2009 at 3:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy