ryanpreiss

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Offline (the 07/12/2016 at 10:05pm)

ryanpreiss

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 762
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ryanpreiss's page activity

Visits<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 2:36pm<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 5:06pm<b>2simz</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 3:40am<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 4:09pm<b>Quendolin</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:46am<b>abhig</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:39am<b>hunter1019</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 8:36pm<b>am1717</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 10:19am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:24pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:27am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 3:56pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 12:30am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:06pm<b>Tavers</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:59am<b>xPaladin</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:41pm

ryanpreiss's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of ryanpreiss's badges

ryanpreiss's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

by Person15 / 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

by Good sister / 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML

by Nickname / 10/12/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML

by Beaky / 10/12/2011 at 1:09am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML

by FroggyGirl888 / 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

by TheAnnoyedNeighbor / 10/03/2011 at 2:08am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

by egghead / 09/23/2011 at 4:31am / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 8:11am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my mom made me teach my delusional gran web browsing. I barely made it to YouTube before she sneered at me, and told me to "stop pissing about before I smash your face in." Two hours and multiple slaps later, she still doesn't get what a URL is, and I fear for my life. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 8:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML

by facepalm / 06/14/2011 at 4:30am / United States / Miscellaneous