ryanpreiss

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Offline (the 07/12/2016 at 10:05pm)

ryanpreiss

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 729
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ryanpreiss's page activity

Visits<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 2:36pm<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 5:06pm<b>2simz</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 3:40am<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 4:09pm<b>Quendolin</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:46am<b>abhig</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:39am<b>hunter1019</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 8:36pm<b>am1717</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 10:19am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:24pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:27am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 3:56pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 12:30am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:06pm<b>Tavers</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:59am<b>xPaladin</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:41pm

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ryanpreiss's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

by Potforapeso / 09/30/2014 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

by adeeri / 09/03/2014 at 9:24pm / United States (Wyoming) / Kids

Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 5:56pm / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

by pocketrocket90 / 08/08/2014 at 2:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

by Is that..? / 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML

by scrotumscratcher / 07/25/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of my coworkers asked if I hated my life and was depressed because of how I look most of the time. This is just my facial expression. FML

by anon / 07/25/2013 at 12:44am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

by Amanda / 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm / Canada / Kids

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

by SHIIIIITTTT / 08/10/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 4:44am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

by Meowingtons500 / 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.