ryankon518

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ryankon518

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 May 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1116
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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ryankon518's page activity

Visits<b>flattestbat</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:34pm<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:19pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:27am<b>Jayman0913</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 6:44pm<b>littlekes</b> - the 08/18/2011 at 11:05pm<b>its_love2</b> - the 08/18/2011 at 10:36pm<b>TrollFeeder</b> - the 08/18/2011 at 9:55am<b>ladedah123</b> - the 07/22/2011 at 6:01pm<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 06/23/2011 at 9:34am<b>Zebidee</b> - the 06/23/2011 at 9:20am<b>velvel</b> - the 04/05/2011 at 7:26pm

ryankon518's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

ryankon518's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 11:52am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML

by Keith walk / 02/12/2011 at 12:59am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

by Username / 02/08/2011 at 11:57am / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML

by anonymous / 02/03/2011 at 12:17am / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

by single / 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my fiancé what he liked most about being in a relationship with me. His answer? "I can watch your boobs without being called a perv." FML

by redlips / 11/09/2010 at 1:06pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, a drunk driver crashed in through my living room wall. Not only that, but he managed to completely miss the first two houses on the block, which should have been a barrier before mine. FML

by Uriyahu / 09/20/2010 at 6:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

by Lewis / 09/04/2010 at 7:02am / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy