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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28296) - you deserved it (2015)
On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16297) - you deserved it (29480)
On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (2332)
On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12980) - you deserved it (22131)
On 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm - intimacy - by datingmrpicky (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (27433)
On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16525) - you deserved it (39251)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44676) - you deserved it (4970)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11741) - you deserved it (46108)
On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42859) - you deserved it (6040)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8799) - you deserved it (28398)
On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (47647)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36072) - you deserved it (6509)
On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31811) - you deserved it (7657)
On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States
Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33354) - you deserved it (5484)
On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26878) - you deserved it (5552)
On 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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