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ryan5w4

Offline (the 10/18/2014 at 4:41am) | Search for a member

ryan5w4

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 392
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>DarkPandaXD</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 6:37pm<b>zman0900</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 7:22am<b>loltroll667</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 2:43am

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ryan5w4's favorite FMLs

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33994) - you deserved it (3689)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework. She got so mad, she tore up a drawing I'd spent over a week working on. That was my art homework. FML

#21253019
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43967) - you deserved it (3314)

On 09/06/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by StillPissedOffAtIrony (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

#21252905
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37496) - you deserved it (2734)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by UghDude (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

#21251377
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38001) - you deserved it (3355)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm - kids - by MusicLover18 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my ex just got engaged to a girl he met 3 months ago, shortly before he ended our 5 year relationship. His reason for breaking up was that he didn't believe in marriage and couldn't be with someone who wanted to get married. Right. FML

#21089901
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43332) - you deserved it (3596)

On 03/18/2014 at 10:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

#21089044
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36612) - you deserved it (5945)

On 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm - misc - by NotInTheRightPlace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

#21071374
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41273) - you deserved it (4073)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42821) - you deserved it (5436)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

#21060455
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43693) - you deserved it (7786)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:23pm - love - by fuck you right back, cockspit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (47659)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

#21058421
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49975) - you deserved it (3938)

On 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Parusu - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41185) - you deserved it (7235)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

#21055534
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32889) - you deserved it (4003)

On 02/09/2014 at 4:59pm - love - by blushingbride - United States (Georgia)

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

#21055376
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40410) - you deserved it (4972)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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Friday 17 October 2014

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