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ry12an21

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ry12an21

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ry12an21's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML

#19588990
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35565) - you deserved it (3863)

On 05/07/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by coffeeshopgirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13141) - you deserved it (41318)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19160) - you deserved it (36705)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36369) - you deserved it (2997)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

#19410282
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22750) - you deserved it (2265)

On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

#17974807
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49163) - you deserved it (5586)

On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

#16574286
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29904) - you deserved it (5406)

On 06/09/2011 at 3:20am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

#15679727
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49566) - you deserved it (5274)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

#14277072
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44790) - you deserved it (3620)

On 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by morenita27 (woman) - Canada

Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML

#5248876
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24025) - you deserved it (4597)

On 09/14/2009 at 8:58am - intimacy - by Humiliated (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37040) - you deserved it (4042)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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