This member hasn't filled in the description.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42568) - you deserved it (11315)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53699) - you deserved it (3304)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (16408)
On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41338) - you deserved it (8701)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35326) - you deserved it (12835)
On 05/08/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by Sebastian20 (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20121) - you deserved it (38117)
On 04/21/2013 at 2:20am - misc - by Human fly - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41134) - you deserved it (2825)
On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12004) - you deserved it (44739)
On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you deserved it (4371)
On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32723) - you deserved it (4922)
On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)
Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26966) - you deserved it (1365)
On 04/02/2013 at 9:34am - work - by ak_6694 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27912) - you deserved it (11999)
On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (2754)
On 03/20/2013 at 12:54am - love - by Too manly (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (3051)
On 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30635) - you deserved it (3892)
On 03/05/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by goodgrief (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
