Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

russfml

Offline (20 hours ago) | Search for a member

russfml

1Liked!

russfml
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 31 October 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1699
  • Number of comments : 419
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About russfml : I am currently working as a physical security analyst for BMO bank.
I like to think I can play guitar and mandolin as well as a bit of a fisherman, a terrible sketch artist and firearm user.
I still haven't posted my own (passing) FML either my life is that boring or I'm lucky and not accident prone! Wtf! Lol

russfml's page activity

Visits<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 3:13am<b>bjones29</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 2:00am<b>Ohshitdude</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 12:24am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:36pm<b>netflixislove</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 6:28pm<b>feelingold</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:23am<b>hurley12</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:02am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 3:34pm<b>chanelleyy</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 3:06pm<b>leahb99</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:34am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 8:59am<b>WantaDanish</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 9:52pm<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 3:42am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 11:56am<b>ThatLobster</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 7:52pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:03pm<b>Connerm</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 12:04pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:33am

Liked!<b>edgyraisin</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 8:57am

russfml's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of russfml's badges

russfml's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31933) - you deserved it (3379)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

#21339686
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37557) - you deserved it (3274)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML

#21338246
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25949) - you deserved it (8567)

On 01/16/2015 at 12:09pm - misc - by phones - United States

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32682) - you deserved it (2527)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37735) - you deserved it (3610)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML

#21312671
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31544) - you deserved it (2974)

On 12/06/2014 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

#21274403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29632) - you deserved it (3175)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33580) - you deserved it (5697)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

#21248418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34401) - you deserved it (2746)

On 08/30/2014 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50772) - you deserved it (9754)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48719) - you deserved it (8866)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42163) - you deserved it (5977)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44707) - you deserved it (16555)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: