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Today, I'm studying abroad in Russia, and I lost my keys to my dorm room. In the office I asked for a spare and she spoke really fast so I couldn't hear her. Assuming I don't speak Russian, she gets on the phone and calls maintenance saying, "There is this ugly girl about to cry... come fix it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34646) - you totally deserved it (1565)
On 07/10/2009 at 8:50am - misc - by icanunderstand (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)
Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74680) - you totally deserved it (1602)
On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you totally deserved it (5165)
On 07/07/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom told me I was a bad daughter because I didn't get anything for my parents' anniversary. I just sent my brother a check for $400 for my share of their gift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27305) - you totally deserved it (1312)
On 07/07/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by andrie09 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, during my shift at the restaurant, my boss's daugher came in. I could not help but notice she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her mother, my boss took me aside and said "my daugher's got eyes, you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6911) - you totally deserved it (29832)
On 07/06/2009 at 7:28pm - work - by Cody (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got my hair done, eyebrows waxed, and a new expensive dress to impress my boyfriend. When I got home I asked him if he noticed anything different about me. He looked at me for one minute before asking, "Did you finally start using Proactive?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you totally deserved it (2963)
On 06/27/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Acneface - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42133) - you totally deserved it (12473)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (46655) - you totally deserved it (1437)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Jay (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She proceeded to say, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46490) - you totally deserved it (4178)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving home at night when I saw a billboard flash "report drunk drivers". 15 minuted later, I saw someone drive recklessly as if they were drunk. When I called the cops, I got pulled over by another cop for talking on my cell phone. I got a $150 ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38856) - you totally deserved it (8525)
On 05/05/2009 at 9:11pm - money - by airborne (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33228) - you totally deserved it (17382)
On 04/18/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by pinkblankets (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28482) - you totally deserved it (19381)
On 04/18/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by xxxdwangelaxxx (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I came home to find my mum on the phone to the doctor. When she hung up I asked what had happened. She said they found an STD in my bloodtest, and then she began to call me a slut. I'm 14, and am still a virgin. After 5 mins of crying, she tells me she was joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89206) - you totally deserved it (3246)
On 04/18/2009 at 9:36am - health - by tamber (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I turned 18. Nothing was said at breakfast, but I figured they'd remember and we'd have cake at night. I came home and there was cake, but not for me. My sister got her period for the first time during the day and they were celebrating. Apparently, a vaginal discharge was more important. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86049) - you totally deserved it (2330)
On 04/18/2009 at 4:49am - health - by Legal (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60619) - you totally deserved it (1862)
On 04/04/2009 at 3:03pm - work - by Lifeguard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
