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About rplovez : I'm just me :)
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18697) - you deserved it (2253) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11624) - you deserved it (1412) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (5626)
On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa
Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12642) - you deserved it (15407)
On 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm - kids - by imamomma - United States
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22358) - you deserved it (3039)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10596) - you deserved it (963)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9869) - you deserved it (19341)
On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17118) - you deserved it (2332)
On 11/06/2011 at 12:43pm - health - by panickygrl (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10078) - you deserved it (1956)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10021) - you deserved it (1539) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7061) - you deserved it (2484)
On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (6138)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncles living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18217) - you deserved it (1568)
On 09/17/2011 at 2:56am - misc - by ironik970 - United States (Colorado)
Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7191) - you deserved it (734)
On 09/16/2011 at 3:26pm - kids - by Chandler - United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18788) - you deserved it (2405)
On 09/05/2011 at 7:14pm - love - by rplovez (woman) - Canada
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