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roxyandmarlygirl

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roxyandmarlygirl

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 151
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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roxyandmarlygirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47895) - you deserved it (10539)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

#20133155
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20743) - you deserved it (5209)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18940) - you deserved it (2983)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend and I reconciled after having a huge fight last week. We went out drinking, and things got pretty intense, so we went back to my place. We made it to the bedroom, but somewhere between her taking off my shirt and me taking off her pants, we both passed out. FML

#20043150
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19863) - you deserved it (12059)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by unfucked (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is only with me because I'm a mechanic and I fix her constantly broken-down car for free. FML

#20038129
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22816) - you deserved it (2157)

On 08/23/2012 at 8:05pm - love - by hustled - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend's phone was stolen. I have no idea who I've been sexting the entire afternoon. FML

#20033737
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29142) - you deserved it (8313)

On 08/21/2012 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Sexting (man) - United States

Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML

#20029819
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25579) - you deserved it (2172)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm - love - by yarhyun1 (man) - United States

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48203) - you deserved it (3432)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28535) - you deserved it (4395)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28535) - you deserved it (4395)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML

#20016767
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26976) - you deserved it (2316)

On 08/12/2012 at 11:49am - love - by jake (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend's parents took pictures of my tattoos to make sure I'm "not affiliated with any gangs." I have never even been arrested. FML

#20005337
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19040) - you deserved it (3642)

On 08/06/2012 at 4:13am - love - by awkwardparents - United States (California)

Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML

#20005160
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25162) - you deserved it (2075)

On 08/06/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by mississippi123 - United States (California)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56634) - you deserved it (10361)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada



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