rosencharlotte

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rosencharlotte

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 July 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 196
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About rosencharlotte : lolhi

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It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

rosencharlotte's favorite FMLs

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

by catlover / 12/13/2012 at 6:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

by embarrassed / 10/08/2012 at 5:12am / Australia (South Australia) / Love

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

by banj0 / 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

by FML_Elle / 10/06/2012 at 11:52am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

by wickedbeauty333 / 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML

by Bethany / 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

by pissed off / 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm / Animals