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rootlessprophecy

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rootlessprophecy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 November 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 562
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

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rootlessprophecy's page activity

Visits<b>raphanne</b> - the 12/21/2011 at 8:47pm

rootlessprophecy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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rootlessprophecy's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

#15182858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23138) - you deserved it (4738)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:58am - work - by Pickle (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

#15166184
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33531) - you deserved it (2775)

On 03/01/2011 at 7:11pm - health - by stillsick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47948) - you deserved it (13781)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -

Today, I was eating Campbell's vegetable soup. Halfway through, I started to read the ingredients and found beef broth. I have been a vegetarian for seven years. FML

#15129927
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14267) - you deserved it (49205)

On 02/26/2011 at 7:59pm - misc - by NoMeatFail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45462) - you deserved it (19080)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21444) - you deserved it (41768)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to move out. Excited, thinking he wanted us to move out from his mom's house, I said, "Yeah! Just you and me?" to which he smirked and replied, "No, just you." FML

#15081669
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31922) - you deserved it (4576)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:27pm - love - by Shropintz (woman) - United States

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (32157)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46197) - you deserved it (13259)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10027) - you deserved it (58758)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46811) - you deserved it (9271)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69808) - you deserved it (6567)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36347) - you deserved it (4802)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26766) - you deserved it (11848)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113249) - you deserved it (8505)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States



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