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rootlessprophecy's favorite FMLs
Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML
by Pickle / 03/03/2011 at 1:58am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
by stillsick / 03/01/2011 at 7:11pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML
by NoMeatFail / 02/26/2011 at 7:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by greenchan / 02/25/2011 at 12:12am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
by failed / 02/23/2011 at 5:06am / Switzerland (Vaud) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to move out. Excited, thinking he wanted us to move out from his mom's house, I said, "Yeah! Just you and me?" to which he smirked and replied, "No, just you." FML
by Shropintz / 02/22/2011 at 7:27pm / United States / Love
by CutieBooty / 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by howler / 02/15/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 8:43am / United States / Love
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…