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rootlessprophecy

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rootlessprophecy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 November 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 549
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

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rootlessprophecy's page activity

Visits<b>raphanne</b> - the 12/21/2011 at 8:47pm

rootlessprophecy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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rootlessprophecy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

#19144925
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10951) - you deserved it (39357)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML

#18991007
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27500) - you deserved it (3346)

On 02/04/2012 at 9:52am - love - by ac-hoo (woman) - India (Delhi)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48501) - you deserved it (8160)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

#18867304
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14308) - you deserved it (25325)

On 01/21/2012 at 12:47am - love - by Reliena (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34836) - you deserved it (14236)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

#18808709
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19354) - you deserved it (3480)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

#18793525
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28094) - you deserved it (3937)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:47am - intimacy - by doctorsandnurses (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12744) - you deserved it (46522)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19924) - you deserved it (39176)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46707) - you deserved it (3234)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML

#18645768
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8927) - you deserved it (33633)

On 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

#18568615
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18073) - you deserved it (27603)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Nicki (woman) - Canada

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48192) - you deserved it (3615)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73634) - you deserved it (7678)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73634) - you deserved it (7678)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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