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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20185) - you deserved it (62045)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by ohhotdamn (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7925) - you deserved it (71034)
On 03/19/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by skywayavenue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (436704) - you deserved it (61405)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (121538) - you deserved it (3829)
On 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right infront of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML
I agree, your life sucks (62418) - you deserved it (2172)
On 03/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by VroomVroom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53295) - you deserved it (585444)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, before a big formal banquet, I went tanning because I wanted to look good in my cocktail dress. I got out of the tanning bed only to realize that I had left my socks on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7610) - you deserved it (41805)
On 02/22/2009 at 11:09pm - misc - by Sh.H (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41132) - you deserved it (1898)
On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - health - by trackgurl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177894) - you deserved it (61443)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40570) - you deserved it (6412)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mom was telling me a funny story about when I was young. So I said 'yeah I was funny huh?' She replied 'Yep, I had a funny one and a pretty one'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23951) - you deserved it (1484)
On 02/07/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10078) - you deserved it (50159)
On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24339) - you deserved it (3091)
On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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