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About roll_fukng_tide : Lets see. I woke up in Philosophy the other day and this dude was looking at this site. I laughed my ass off reading some of this shit. I dont have a bad life. Its just great laughing at other peoples fuck ups.
Im at the University of Alabama for Mechanical Engineering... I hate Engineering.
Yuengling is my best friend (thats the best beer sold if you didnt know)
Some shit I like...
Music - Brokencyde, Eminem, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Backstreet Boys (lol), Ludacris, some other nigger rappers, and Justin Timberlake (fuck you, dont laugh. hes the shit).
Fuckkkkk country music and Lil Wayne. They give me headaches.
Umm... I watch any and every movie that comes my way. Favorite movie would have to be How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days.
Fuck this. I was bored again.
Rollllllllll TIdeeeeeeeeee bitchhhhh
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML
Today, I got a phone call from a detective in response to my stolen car that has been missing since St. Patrick's Day. He told me that he had found my car, but was chuckling the whole time. Turns out, I had parked my car in a different lot. I haven't had it for a week. It was never stolen. FML
Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
Thursday 23 April 2015