Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

roll_fukng_tide

Search for a member

roll_fukng_tide
  • Town/Country : Tuscaloosa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 November 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 42411
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About roll_fukng_tide : Lets see. I woke up in Philosophy the other day and this dude was looking at this site. I laughed my ass off reading some of this shit. I dont have a bad life. Its just great laughing at other peoples fuck ups.
Im at the University of Alabama for Mechanical Engineering... I hate Engineering.
Yuengling is my best friend (thats the best beer sold if you didnt know)
Some shit I like...

Music - Brokencyde, Eminem, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Backstreet Boys (lol), Ludacris, some other nigger rappers, and Justin Timberlake (fuck you, dont laugh. hes the shit).
Fuckkkkk country music and Lil Wayne. They give me headaches.

Umm... I watch any and every movie that comes my way. Favorite movie would have to be How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days.
Fuck this. I was bored again.
Rollllllllll TIdeeeeeeeeee bitchhhhh

roll_fukng_tide's last visitors

zeriously95doglover100NikkiRainbow63Tommiixtannerlewis18FreezeSnaphootZebrasofa13

roll_fukng_tide's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

roll_fukng_tide's favorite FMLs

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML

#3168193
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60938) - you deserved it (2255)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113732) - you deserved it (71763)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12711) - you deserved it (79731)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

#2534485
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54894) - you deserved it (4301)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Higgs (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML

#1418497
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12732) - you deserved it (59073)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:12am - misc - by owned (woman) - Singapore

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

#963044
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40938) - you deserved it (27702)

On 04/14/2009 at 12:44am - love - by dramaqueen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML

#871042
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102663) - you deserved it (5072)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329324) - you deserved it (35705)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML

#811119
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83805) - you deserved it (5442)

On 04/05/2009 at 1:04am - intimacy - by knicksfan (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML

#771625
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62260) - you deserved it (10392)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:05pm - animals - by darlingditz (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML

#740142
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24395) - you deserved it (53945)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked a boy I like to prom by writing all over his car. After nervously sitting by the phone all day, I decided to go out to get lunch. I found the word "No!" written all over my car. FML

#696995
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33415) - you deserved it (58104)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by lauren (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML

#668061
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42473) - you deserved it (25408)

On 03/28/2009 at 8:13pm - misc - by thathurt (man) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: