roll_fukng_tide

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roll_fukng_tide

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 November 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 43724
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About roll_fukng_tide : Lets see. I woke up in Philosophy the other day and this dude was looking at this site. I laughed my ass off reading some of this shit. I dont have a bad life. Its just great laughing at other peoples fuck ups.
Im at the University of Alabama for Mechanical Engineering... I hate Engineering.
Yuengling is my best friend (thats the best beer sold if you didnt know)
Some shit I like...

Music - Brokencyde, Eminem, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Backstreet Boys (lol), Ludacris, some other nigger rappers, and Justin Timberlake (fuck you, dont laugh. hes the shit).
Fuckkkkk country music and Lil Wayne. They give me headaches.

Umm... I watch any and every movie that comes my way. Favorite movie would have to be How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days.
Fuck this. I was bored again.
Rollllllllll TIdeeeeeeeeee bitchhhhh

roll_fukng_tide's page activity

Visits<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 7:21pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:17pm<b>Duhitstori</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 11:37pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:16am<b>styles829</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 10:41pm<b>sparrowren</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:34pm<b>princesshulkk</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:01am<b>zieelona</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 2:22pm<b>Eff_Itt</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 7:42pm<b>Micah_Nobot</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 3:20am<b>niknakpattywak</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:04pm<b>GoldFishPony</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:06pm<b>doglover100</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:07am<b>blu8</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 1:14pm<b>NikkiRainbow63</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:12pm<b>fmylifeuggh</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 12:49am<b>Tommiix</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 5:52pm<b>Ashleyawsomeness</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 12:11pm

roll_fukng_tide's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

roll_fukng_tide's favorite FMLs

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2009 at 5:59am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

by baller / 06/08/2009 at 6:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

by Higgs / 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML

by owned / 04/28/2009 at 10:12am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

by dramaqueen / 04/14/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML

by Crazy09 / 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML

by knicksfan / 04/05/2009 at 1:04am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML

by darlingditz / 04/02/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked a boy I like to prom by writing all over his car. After nervously sitting by the phone all day, I decided to go out to get lunch. I found the word "No!" written all over my car. FML

by lauren / 03/30/2009 at 1:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML

by thathurt / 03/28/2009 at 8:13pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love