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rolk112

Offline (the 03/17/2014 at 7:32pm) | Search for a member

rolk112

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  • Number of visits : 42
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rolk112's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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rolk112's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51762) - you deserved it (16779)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40068) - you deserved it (4272)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

#21165255
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54424) - you deserved it (8974)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML

#21159630
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42638) - you deserved it (11166)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:15pm - work - by ugh - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

#21159292
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45694) - you deserved it (4710)

On 06/01/2014 at 12:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44084) - you deserved it (8300)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

#21149491
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42519) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm - misc - by nikaea (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

#21149341
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40559) - you deserved it (4141)

On 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm - kids - by todaddy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42399) - you deserved it (4393)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31538) - you deserved it (50652)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63391) - you deserved it (8077)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met up with my group for class. We were doing some final checks on the project we've been working on all semester, when I realized something about one guy's work seemed off. I googled it and found out it's almost completely plagiarized. It's all due in the morning. FML

#21130579
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40372) - you deserved it (3644)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40609) - you deserved it (10276)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36082) - you deserved it (3966)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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