Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

roflmao96

Search for a member

roflmao96

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 994
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

roflmao96's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:57pm<b>rawrdinosxx</b> - the 01/27/2010 at 12:00pm<b>Smile21</b> - the 12/01/2009 at 5:43am<b>NDnation44</b> - the 07/27/2009 at 12:52am<b>ubiquitious</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 6:53pm<b>Blurggle</b> - the 07/19/2009 at 1:47pm

roflmao96's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

roflmao96's favorite FMLs

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

#5307828
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39925) - you deserved it (3392)

On 09/17/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML

#5306456
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33981) - you deserved it (3735)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:10am - health - by navyma - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19933) - you deserved it (93835)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

#5289656
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11440) - you deserved it (80171)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - animals - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML

#5288482
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34949) - you deserved it (19274)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML

#5219515
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45738) - you deserved it (5845)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43512) - you deserved it (18885)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said "your phones been buzzing". I had a text saying "you're grounded," from my Dad. My Alarm saying 'Birth Control Pill' had been going off for a half hour while I was gone. FML

#3704342
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37445) - you deserved it (28792)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

#3691268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84019) - you deserved it (13020)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

#3474895
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62683) - you deserved it (12176)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

#3398607
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67789) - you deserved it (6476)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

#3398607
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67789) - you deserved it (6476)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

#3398607
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67789) - you deserved it (6476)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

#3398607
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67789) - you deserved it (6476)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

#3398607
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67789) - you deserved it (6476)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: