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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33691) - you deserved it (2511)
On 09/17/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28360) - you deserved it (2817)
On 09/17/2009 at 1:10am - health - by navyma - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16453) - you deserved it (72537)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9228) - you deserved it (63022)
On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - animals - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29573) - you deserved it (14967)
On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39337) - you deserved it (4622)
On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37937) - you deserved it (17144)
On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said "your phones been buzzing". I had a text saying "you're grounded," from my Dad. My Alarm saying 'Birth Control Pill' had been going off for a half hour while I was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31983) - you deserved it (22143)
On 07/13/2009 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was"Best positions for a small penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (73863) - you deserved it (9458)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55731) - you deserved it (9515)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59269) - you deserved it (5088)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59269) - you deserved it (5088)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59269) - you deserved it (5088)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59269) - you deserved it (5088)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59269) - you deserved it (5088)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)
Sunday 12 May 2013
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