About rockstate_drew : Ummmm... I'm 17 and I wrestle. FML keeps me occupied while I'm bored. CHAT ME if you want to talk! Especially if you live close to me (not a stalker) :)
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Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32508) - you deserved it (2304)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28410) - you deserved it (4962)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (1919)
On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27480) - you deserved it (8575)
On 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm - kids - by stargirl - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33712) - you deserved it (5615)
On 07/10/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34189) - you deserved it (3048)
On 07/05/2011 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34976) - you deserved it (4785)
On 06/13/2011 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sheyshey0413 - United States (Florida)
Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28712) - you deserved it (3100)
On 05/28/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Imaman - United States (Virginia)
Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42457) - you deserved it (2875)
On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - kids - by Adoptee (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35860) - you deserved it (5461)
On 05/10/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (7540)
On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (2524)
On 04/19/2011 at 4:23am - misc - by BerkeleyBiker (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18708) - you deserved it (8127)
On 03/31/2011 at 3:20am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29937) - you deserved it (43723)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dad cussed out an individual on the phone because he thought it was a telemarketer. He was my Indian girlfriend's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (3402)
On 03/19/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by dollarstorepwnr (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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