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Offline (the 11/22/2016 at 4:25am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 March 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2748
  • Number of comments : 205
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About rocketiquette : Music lover and singer. Beach lover. Quite sarcastic and blunt. I really dislike most of humanity, enjoy the human bashing... I might wear red lipstick and black clothes too much.
Tumblr: rocketiquetteforcyanide
Kik: ruthiebr00tal

rocketiquette's page activity

Visits<b>xxdreamloverxx</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 8:09am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 6:21pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 9:44pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 7:31pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 9:26pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 6:59pm<b>Superbrown36</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 2:51am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:05am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 4:56pm<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 12:40pm<b>four0seven</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 1:53am<b>billboob</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 5:33am<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 11:18am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 2:56am<b>jwolt92</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 12:50am<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 12:06am<b>delichick</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 6:14pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 5:53am

Fucked!<b>billboob</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 3:28pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 9:49pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 1:33am<b>Hildy93</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 7:24am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 4:49am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 12:51am<b>rhiley</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 11:27am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:29am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 4:40am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 10:28pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 11:01pm<b>Montiphelia</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 7:55pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 7:55pm<b>quiksilver415</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 9:26pm<b>A07</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 3:17pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:02pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:56am<b>zacadrien0899</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:45pm

rocketiquette's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of rocketiquette's badges

rocketiquette's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting with a new guy at work. He cracked a joke about me and I jokingly gave him a light push on the shoulder. Half a second after I touched him, he threw himself back and hit the floor yelling in "pain". Now I'm suspended because of this psycho. FML

by framed / 04/02/2016 at 8:30am / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, I was talking to myself in the bathroom to remind myself of what chores I need to do. My husband overheard me and is now convinced that I was on the phone with someone. No amount of proof, logic or reasoning can convince him that I'm not cheating on him. FML

by ardea_alba / 01/01/2016 at 3:27pm / Russian Federation (Sverdlovsk) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2014 at 8:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that if you accidentally step on your boss's dog's tail, yes, you can get fired. But not because you stepped on the dog's tail. You didn't say sorry. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2013 at 9:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "to put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2013 at 9:11pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

by :| / 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML

by Sua / 09/19/2013 at 2:15am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML

by icanteven / 09/11/2013 at 9:12pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

by SparkOfJade / 08/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Maryland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

by NextAmericanIdol? / 08/08/2013 at 12:09am / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

by mishyb / 07/28/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 2:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

by Gross / 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

by "people these days" / 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (Virginia) / Health