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rockefoe

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rockefoe

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 May 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4997
  • Number of comments : 180
  • Number of FMLs : 3 confirmed out of 22 posted

About rockefoe : Trying to get an FML published...

Aha! Accomplished on 6/30/10. FTW.

...and on 10/20/10.

...and on 11/15/10.

rockefoe's page activity

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rockefoe's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60418) - you deserved it (12625)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad came to my graduate art show wearing a t-shirt saying "My other daughter is a science major". He'd had it specially made. FML

#16341041
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39008) - you deserved it (6936)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by art_major (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33044) - you deserved it (18355)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

#16277125
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40316) - you deserved it (5293)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39931) - you deserved it (4129)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26626) - you deserved it (14194)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Ten minutes after, he called me asking how to change his relationship status on facebook. FML

#16262693
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43825) - you deserved it (3425)

On 05/20/2011 at 1:46am - love - by BALEIGHLOVE17 -

Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML

#16255885
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29174) - you deserved it (4036)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by forkmylife (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11355) - you deserved it (63609)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

#16221236
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13147) - you deserved it (63938)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38878) - you deserved it (10492)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

#16204397
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19293) - you deserved it (36465)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:28am - health - by foolmetwice (woman) -

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

#16078669
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25158) - you deserved it (3352)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

#16028300
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34549) - you deserved it (7237)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -



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