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rockefoe

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rockefoe
  • Town/Country : San Diego, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 May 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 3694
  • Number of comments : 180
  • Number of FMLs : 3 confirmed out of 22 posted

About rockefoe : Trying to get an FML published...

Aha! Accomplished on 6/30/10. FTW.

...and on 10/20/10.

...and on 11/15/10.

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rockefoe's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53264) - you deserved it (9957)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad came to my graduate art show wearing a t-shirt saying "My other daughter is a science major". He'd had it specially made. FML

#16341041
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35280) - you deserved it (6471)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by art_major (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (17340)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

#16277125
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37858) - you deserved it (5052)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37869) - you deserved it (3941)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23362) - you deserved it (13121)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Ten minutes after, he called me asking how to change his relationship status on facebook. FML

#16262693
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40616) - you deserved it (3197)

On 05/20/2011 at 1:46am - love - by BALEIGHLOVE17 -

Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML

#16255885
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26602) - you deserved it (3815)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by forkmylife (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10448) - you deserved it (61186)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

#16221236
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12051) - you deserved it (61056)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35540) - you deserved it (9881)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

#16204397
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17909) - you deserved it (34425)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:28am - health - by foolmetwice (woman) -

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

#16078669
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20576) - you deserved it (2980)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

#16028300
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32259) - you deserved it (6996)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -



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