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rockefoe

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rockefoe

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 May 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4062
  • Number of comments : 180
  • Number of FMLs : 3 confirmed out of 22 posted

About rockefoe : Trying to get an FML published...

Aha! Accomplished on 6/30/10. FTW.

...and on 10/20/10.

...and on 11/15/10.

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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rockefoe's favorite FMLs

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

#18725353
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35105) - you deserved it (4244)

On 01/06/2012 at 11:16am - health - by Ixi_the_pixie - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML

#18101877
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13118) - you deserved it (42634)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:32am - love - by duped (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38729) - you deserved it (9989)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML

#17901897
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23523) - you deserved it (17025)

On 10/04/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by friskeyk14 - United States (California)

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

#17897207
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31582) - you deserved it (5033)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34811) - you deserved it (2778)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

#17207646
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27453) - you deserved it (14229)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

#17207535
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13807) - you deserved it (43127)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

#16762179
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33890) - you deserved it (5121)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:14pm - health - by Me - United States (Florida)

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

#16758524
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14693) - you deserved it (35272)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by NewTenant (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML

#16752428
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44253) - you deserved it (8379)

On 06/19/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by stillAvirgin:( - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I woke up with a high fever and hallucinations. I called for my mother, who after checking me, swore that I was just hungover from a night of partying, called me a "f*cking hedonist", and refused to help. FML

#16728687
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26660) - you deserved it (4040)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:54pm - health - by Anna (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

#16728173
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23697) - you deserved it (8329)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm - animals - by Barney - United States (Indiana)

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9568) - you deserved it (100352)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States



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