About robertlovespi : Free to be who I want to be!
Hi my name is Robert. I am relatively new to the FML world. I hope you don't mind if I squeeze in beside you guys! I live in Sherwood Park, Alberta. Yes it is a snobby suburban town but I am not like that at all. My friends love me for my wit, good looks (jks) and my helpful advice. Hoping to make it into law enforcement someday!
DID YOU KNOW: Every time you save your profile on the FML app, your birthday moves back one day.
Favorite commenters:
DrDilllonReese
DocBastard
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (36397)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I fell off a ladder while building a shelter for one of my wife's horses. I think I broke some ribs. I absolutely hate horses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17867) - you deserved it (5013)
On 12/12/2011 at 10:47pm - health - by CessnaPilot - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22044) - you deserved it (6392)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Sam - United States
Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15385) - you deserved it (7234)
On 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm - animals - by MY CAR (man) - United States (California)
Today, my date threw a fit, burst into tears, and made a huge scene in the middle of a crowded restaurant, all because I offered to pay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25235) - you deserved it (1981)
On 11/14/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by wtf (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26811) - you deserved it (911)
On 11/05/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by sophhiee - United States (Maryland)
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25116) - you deserved it (2747)
On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my wife tried to refill the windshield wiper fluid on her own. However, she poured it where the oil goes. Now the car is having major issues. Last week I lost my job, and I have no idea how much this is going to cost to fix. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (2269)
On 08/30/2011 at 5:35am - money - by BadTime (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39530) - you deserved it (16971)
On 07/12/2009 at 4:59am - misc - by whatrights - United States (California)
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47546) - you deserved it (2049)
On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66544) - you deserved it (165619)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51123) - you deserved it (3386)
On 04/11/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66987) - you deserved it (182529)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54142) - you deserved it (424528)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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