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rk0071

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rk0071

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rk0071's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

#4672894
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9728) - you deserved it (61390)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I brought my little sons into work with me. I introduced them to my boss. She said to my shy kids, "You boys don't know me, do you? I'm Janice." The older one lit up and said, "Oh, I know you, mommy complains about you all the time." FML

#4664067
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38747) - you deserved it (15206)

On 08/19/2009 at 8:01pm - work - by SweetFA (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

#4306475
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116282) - you deserved it (4591)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62858) - you deserved it (6855)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML

#4031400
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71093) - you deserved it (8630)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by misopower (woman) - China (Henan)

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

#3934975
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67688) - you deserved it (5086)

On 07/21/2009 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Headphones (man) - United States

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82978) - you deserved it (5674)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82978) - you deserved it (5674)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

#3711192
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20053) - you deserved it (82071)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:17am - intimacy - by air (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

#3691268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85549) - you deserved it (13330)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML

#3168193
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65289) - you deserved it (2544)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

#2686671
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14936) - you deserved it (87452)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46424) - you deserved it (124534)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)



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