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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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rk0071

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rk0071
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  • Number of visits : 833
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rk0071's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

#4672894 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (6481) - you deserved it (43856)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I brought my little sons into work with me. I introduced them to my boss. She said to my shy kids, "You boys don't know me, do you? I'm Janice." The older one lit up and said, "Oh, I know you, mommy complains about you all the time." FML

#4664067 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (31414) - you deserved it (10895)

On 08/19/2009 at 8:01pm - work - by SweetFA (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I farted while I was in line at the bank. I tried to pretend it wasn't me by looking at the man behind me and turning back with a disgusted look on my face. I thought I had gotten away with it when the man yells "It wasn't me, this bitch did it". FML

#4651502 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (5391) - you deserved it (58557)

On 08/19/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by moutz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

#4306475 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (89159) - you deserved it (2802)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (50953) - you deserved it (5018)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

#4219573 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (50429) - you deserved it (10395)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML

#4031400 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (59961) - you deserved it (6484)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by misopower (woman) - China (Henan)

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

#3934975 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (57758) - you deserved it (3796)

On 07/21/2009 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Headphones (man) - United States

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (68693) - you deserved it (4011)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

#3711192 (394)

I agree, your life sucks (15674) - you deserved it (62065)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:17am - intimacy - by air (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was"Best positions for a small penis." FML

#3691268 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (71514) - you deserved it (9117)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML

#3168193 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (54367) - you deserved it (1592)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

#3159072 (341)

I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (57362)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by FattyMcFatterson (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

#2686671 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (10832) - you deserved it (64400)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681 (380)

I agree, your life sucks (36218) - you deserved it (87888)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)