Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rivity55

Offline (yesterday at 7:21pm) | Search for a member

rivity55

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 467
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

rivity55's page activity

Visits<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:30pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:48am<b>GoodRichPope</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Morqan_Freeman</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 1:34pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 5:28pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 6:03am<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 3:55pm<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 1:26pm<b>Live4funny</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 9:39am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 1:44am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:44am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 4:45pm<b>Wiz_Of_Oz</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 8:54pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 12:00pm<b>SuperPizzaMan</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:53am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 9:57pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:42pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 7:02am

rivity55's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of rivity55's badges

rivity55's favorite FMLs

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

#20942077
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52873) - you deserved it (5242)

On 11/02/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by SantaClaus - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53146) - you deserved it (5381)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37492) - you deserved it (3260)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53040) - you deserved it (5954)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44312) - you deserved it (32411) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58503) - you deserved it (12247)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67082) - you deserved it (7913)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66671) - you deserved it (4416)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76246) - you deserved it (17329)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69037) - you deserved it (3960)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

#20726673
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47914) - you deserved it (20249)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83840) - you deserved it (6899)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65706) - you deserved it (18728)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

#20696601
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62536) - you deserved it (13668)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML

#20693929
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58041) - you deserved it (2993)

On 05/29/2013 at 8:39pm - love - by anonymoose - Australia (South Australia)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: