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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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rivershade

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rivershade
  • Town/Country : Nelson, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 September 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 254
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rivershade's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

#5990692 (42)

I agree, your life sucks (8392) - you deserved it (48258)

On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221 (402)

I agree, your life sucks (16596) - you deserved it (57173)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML

#5131831 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (17073) - you deserved it (4359)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by TRAMATIZED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom was really mad at me and I was driving her to the grocery store. As she was coming out, I decided to be a good daughter and drive right up to the door so she doesn't have to walk to the car. I ran her over. FML

#4299527 (279)

I agree, your life sucks (34933) - you deserved it (16825)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was riding my motorcycle. Suddenly, I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. As a sign of anger, I spat my gum towards her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into the bushes. FML

#4142743 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (8145) - you deserved it (48461)

On 07/29/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML

#4137470 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (45695) - you deserved it (1897)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by allocomrade (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML

#1751488 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (60648) - you deserved it (16265)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

#1690267 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (10664) - you deserved it (57544)

On 05/06/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by ElamentalAngel - United Kingdom

Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML

#1529921 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (49424) - you deserved it (12536)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm - health - by jlover42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

#1418421 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (8022) - you deserved it (74689)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)

Today, I hid my credit card from myself so I wouldn't use it. Now I can't find it. FML

#2823 (45)

I agree, your life sucks (4550) - you deserved it (30367)

On 01/27/2009 at 11:47am - money - by dannij08 - United States (California)



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